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Sunday, August 4th was a GREAT DAY

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This past Sunday was a highlight in my ordained life! I have never had a church celebrate an anniversary in that way, my family and I felt so loved and honored. I am grateful to the Bible study group and all who helped make it happen, and most of all for all of you. Your love and support mean the world to me. 

I got too choked up talking about my grandkids to add a few words for my wife and kids. I thank Steve Brown and Mary Hauge for honoring Jennifer as well – the life of a clergy spouse is hard, y’all! She will tell you, “I didn’t marry a Priest”, but she was also the first person to recognize my calling and to say it out loud! Thank you Jennifer for your love and support and sacrifices.

And when I was talking about why I have my grandkids join me at the altar whenever they visit, I really should have mentioned how my own children have had to make adjustments and compromises all these years. They even schedule grandchildren birthday parties early on Saturday mornings so I can come and be back for church! 

Every clergy family makes sacrifices and compromises (as do most families I know), and my family is honored and happy to do so. I wish my two sons-in-law John and Wynne, and my son Joseph and daughter-in-law Flannery, with baby George, could have been there too, but having Chelsea with Eliza and Oliver, and Mackenzie with Juby and Mills, along with our son’s first born, Jane, made the day perfect! And I must say, having Juby and Eliza, the two oldest grands, serve at the altar, was the best! What a day!

Again, I am so grateful for all of you and blessed to serve amongst you.

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General Convention Day Seven

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Today is our last day, and I suspect we will go down to the wire with many more resolutions to finish up. This morning the Rt. Reverend Sean Rowe, our Presiding Bishop Elect, will preach the closing Eucharist, the celebrant will be Presiding Bishop Michael Curry. I am anxious to hear Bishop Rowe while it will be emotional as Bishop Curry presides over his last Eucharist at General Convention.

Yesterday we approved several trial liturgies, including expansive language changes for Eucharistic Prayer C and some alternate texts (badly needed) finally approved for Good Friday. We will have time over the next three years to use these trial liturgies and report back our experiences.

Once General Convention is over I will do a more detailed look at some of the resolutions approved, and some that were not. It’s been a long 8 days and I will be glad to be home tomorrow. Thanks for checking in!

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New Year, New Post

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Gosh it is hard to believe a new year has started! Looking at my blog I am embarrassed I have gone so long since posting. So, no, I have not made a New Year’s Resolution to post more frequently, but I really do want to try to. I want to try some different kinds of writing, and your brutally honest critique is welcomed and needed. So hang in there with me friends!

It is New Year’s Day. A year ago today I was admitted to the hospital in Gulf Breeze for acute pancreatitis, caused by a medication I was on. Having had pancreatitis one other time, ten years ago, I knew it was back as far back as November of 2022. The pain was intense but I had a special Thanksgiving to celebrate at our middle child’s newly rebuilt and remodeled home on the coast of Mississippi, then I had the silent retreat my last several posts were about, and I needed that in such a visceral way I just couldn’t skip it. Of course, then it was time for the rest of Advent, then Christmas and New Year’s so I figured I would just tough it out until that was all over with. I did have blood work before Christmas (2022) that confirmed it was pancreatitis, so Jennifer and I knew what eventually would happen. We went to the ER on January 1st, 2023, after church, where I was admitted for a week.

Basically the only treatment for an acute bout is to be hospitalized for IV fluids and pain management. You cannot eat or drink ANYTHING, as it would cause the pancreas to act up, and mine was angry. I wasn’t a lot better when I left but wanted to get back to church and not miss a Sunday. So I did. By early February I was no better, so another week in the hospital was the ticket.

Since then I have had multiple scans, scopes and the like. Had to make a major change to some medications and deal with a lot of gastro issues, which occasionally affected how much time I could spend at the church during the week. Slowly my labs and symptoms improved over the summer, through it all I lost 45 pounds, the rapidness of the initial loss was concerning of course. I have two cysts on my pancreas but they are very small and have not grown any, we just have to keep an eye on them.

My family has been incredibly supportive through all this year of medical issues. I am forever grateful to have their care and love and prayers, and blessed by their unique gifts and offerings of sacrificial love – and I am also grateful for the prayers of many of the St. Simon’s family and others whom I have known throughout my life.

The last 12 months saw a lot of milestones. In December of 2022 I celebrated the 20th anniversary of my ordination to the priesthood. Man, that triggered a LOT of memories. In June I turned 65 (how is that possible), and in September, Jennifer and I celebrated our 40th anniversary with a two week cruise! On the way to our cruise we stopped at a friend’s home in Palm Beach where 3 priests I attended seminary with and spouses put together an amazing and moving celebration for Jennifer and I, where we renewed our marriage vows in the chapel of Bethesda by the Sea. Thank you so much Tim and Bryna, Todd, and Bill and Sue! I am so happy to be reconnected with seminary friends, to be honest it’s hard to have friends in this “business” and I treasure my seminary buddies and others along the way.

Happy New Year everyone! May 2024 be filled with good health, laughter, and joy in Christ. I hope to write again soon!

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A reflection on a life, and some regrets

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Well it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted on here, but I have several things brewing that will show up soon I hope. Those thoughts were interrupted by horrible news, the sudden and unexpected death of my friend, the Reverend Craig Gates.

A week ago Sunday was the closing Eucharist for the Diocese of Mississippi’s Annual Council. Ever since leaving for sunny Florida, my plans were to attend Council (as I am still canonically resident in MS). My body had other plans – a very fast moving infection in my leg, along with a very high fever, had me in the hospital all week, driving to Natchez from South Florida was not an option (and I didn’t get out until Saturday). On that Sunday a week ago, all the Clergy of the Diocese processed in together as is our custom. Amongst them was Craig Gates, now retired and living at Sewanee, but ever present at such events.

Craig was one of a kind. Loud and opinionated, a force to be reckoned with. Most of all though, a force of love, pure and unconditional, love of Jesus and love of every one he met, all of whom he called “child of God”. He tolerated nothing but love for one another, he preached it and he practiced it.

I first met Craig when I was Curate at St. James in Greenville, MS, in the heart of the Delta. He was Rector of Nativity in Greenwood, and we met a time or two before my ordination to the priesthood. On that day, I knelt before the Bishop, with my fellow priests gathered round, all laying hands on me, as they sang the Taize version of “Veni, Sancte, Spiritus”, with Craig’s booming voice leading the way, and then I stood up a Priest. I was vested in a beautiful red chasuble, was asked by the Bishop to proclaim the Peace to the congregation, and then greeted my family. After this I was sharing the Peace with my now fellow presbyters when Craig grabbed me, said “welcome to the club you beloved child of God”, and kissed me dead full on the mouth! That was Craig Gates in a nutshell. Singing loud, kissing, welcoming, loving.

Craig was a real mentor for many of us in our diocese. Never afraid to speak his mind, he always came from the aspect of inclusive love for all. I loved sitting near him at Clergy Conference and Annual Council, it was always entertaining. Last year I was sitting close as our Bishop gave his address. Being President of the Standing Committee, I knew Bishop Gray was going to announce his call for coadjutor. I also knew Craig would respond loudly. And he did, as soon as the Bishop issued that call, Craig hollered “Nooooooooo!”. He loved and supported our Bishop so well.

I began attending Clergy Conference in 2002. So many of the “old guard” are no longer there. We have quite a few wonderful young or new-to-us Priests, they are all delightful and so gifted. But I had the advantage for years of sitting in the bad-guys-and-girls corner at Clergy Conference where I was entertained by Craig and Chip Davis and Shannon Johnston and Tom Slawson and Andy Andrews and Joe Robinson and Stan Runnels and the wonderful Ruth Black. And of course there was Bo Roberts, 40+ clergy conferences under his belt.Cottage 3 rocked in those days and I am afraid that tradition has moved on as well. These Priests helped mold and shape me, mentored me, made me laugh and challenged me in so many ways.  That was a room full of experience and wisdom, snarkiness and delight, eye rolling and the occasional “nooooo”. And Craig was always leading the charge.

And now Craig is gone. It will never be the same.

Which brings me to the regrets. For how many centuries have people said the same – I wish I had said how I felt about this person to them when they were still alive. Facebook is full of great tributes to Father Craig, he was loved by so many and made such a mark on us all. I hope he knew that. I hope he knew how beloved he was, how helpful he was, how he taught us just by being the “child of God” that he was? I am so, so sorry I never said it directly to him. So sorry.

I hope to change. To be more like Craig, to see EVERYONE as a child of God, beloved. I wish I could sing like him. I hope to be a Priest like him. And I hope I can, from time to time, let those who have meant so much to me know it, on this side of the kingdom as well as the other.

When I first heard the news about Craig, I thought, “I will never attend the Dead Priest Society gathering again. It will be too painful, his absence too real”. Then I thought some more. Instead, I would love to be there next year and at the end of Clergy Conference, when we pass the candle around and name the priests who meant so much to us that are no longer with us, the first time around the circle I hope we all will say, “Craig Gates”. I know that would make him laugh that laugh.

Rest in Peace, you beloved Child of God. You are already missed. I thank God for you, for your life, and for your witness. My prayers are with Dorothy and  family. May you go from strength to strength, my friend.

 

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Acts 6?

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There is a group of us in the Episcopal church who gathered at General Convention, proclaiming an “Acts 8” moment for the church. Click HERE to learn more about it – some really awesome writers contribute to that site. A recent post asked what questions GOEs (General Ordination Exams) SHOULD pose to show whether seminarians are ready for parish ministry. A good question.

It lead me to thinking more about the role of the Priest. I currently am serving as Interim Rector at the largest church in our Diocese. It’s an amazing place, incredibly busy with a great staff and some of the best people I’ve ever known in the congregation.

As their Interim I have learned a lot about the difference in being the Rector of a large church vs. a pastoral size one. Rector as CEO is the model it seems we’ve adopted for resource size parishes. We have 10 full time staff (including 3 Priests) and several other part timers. Managing staff, working on budget and finance, making daily decisions about use of facilites (ours are really nice and used constantly, 7 days a week), running meetings – this is the stuff of the CEO Rector.

And I wonder about the model….

Oft times clergy will make the comment, “well I didn’t learn that in seminary”. I certainly said that myself post-Hurricane Katrina. And the same is certainly true for the administrative skills asked of Rectors of large parishes. Fortunately I have had a lot of experience in the secular world managing staffs and other admin duties – but that’s not why I became a Priest! It’s part of the job, though, part of the expectations placed on Episcopal clergy (and other denominations certainly). And even though we have many, many Priests who are quite good at it, very competent in those areas, the question is not “can” they do it, but “should” they do it.

And please hear me clearly – this is not a whine! I love (LOVE) where I am right now and enjoy going to work every day, even with the headaches that are sure to come. I really mean that. However, that still does not mean we have this right. Do we just expect our clergy to have all those gifts – preaching, pastoral care, teaching, sacramental presence, and killer admin skills?

One thing I had promised myself 10 years ago when I was ordained, is that I would not be one of those preachers who waits until Saturday to write a sermon. And recognizing that only I can control my own calendar (in most cases) I am here to confess that is exactly the situation I find myself in most weeks. And I hate it. Now it’s true that I read the lectionary lessons early in the week, that I jot down ideas when they come to me, that I spend some reflection time on what to say, but it is now my typical week to write the sermon on Friday (my day off) or Saturday. This is unfair to my family and to me and really to my church. They need more than that from me, yet the administrative demands of a place like this, with Rector-as-CEO as the norm, has put me right where I swore I would never be. And I mean to change that. I love preaching. I love teaching. I don’t love not being able to give the amount of time required to do both well.

And to be brutally honest what has been pushed further on the back burner in my life than anything else has been the time I spend in prayer! That is obviously a recipe for disaster! Recognizing that, I began last week scheduling prayer time on my calendar (sad to think it takes such steps). Of course I pray at other times and pray often for and with parishioners and folks in need,  and that has not stopped. But dedicated time in prayer, alone with God, well frankly I have let other duties and obligations overshadow that time, and that MUST CHANGE.

In the 6th chapter of the book of Acts, the 12 disciples are faced with some administrative problems. There was a complaint that some groups of people in need were receiving more help than others. Instead of putting this on the vestry agenda or hiring a consultant or building a consensus for a best approach or even just making an administrative decision on how to correct the problem, the disciples call the whole congregation together and tell them, basically, this is not part of our job description. They say, “We should not give up preaching God’s message in order to serve at tables. My friends, choose seven men who are respected and wise and filled with God’s Spirit. We will put them in charge of these things. We can spend our time praying and serving God by preaching.”

Now this may sound like the disciples felt those duties were beneath them. That’s not the case when you see the type of people they wanted to step up to the task. Instead, the disciples recognize what their true role was, what their gifts were, and what God had called them to spend their time on – praying and preaching.

There’s a model for ya!

Some of this is economic in nature. Rectors of most of our largest churches are paid quite well. With that salary comes the expectation, of course, that they will be the chief administrator, the CEO of the parish. I wonder if some of them have managed to move the admin stuff to someone else on staff? I would love to hear about that.

And please hear this – this is in no way saying that Rectors / Vicars of smaller churches don’t get strapped with tons of “non-seminary-trained” stuff. The priests in those places have to wear a LOT of hats, from plumber to pastor and everything in between, including “waiting on tables”. This question applies equally to them.

I am blessed to be at a big church that not only has a great staff, but we also have dedicated lay folks who work very hard with me on budget and finance and other administrative matters. Even so, the Acts 6 message keeps whispering in my ear. Is there a better way? A way that makes more sense to the call and gifts we each have? This is not about being “good at” something. It’s mostly about roles and expectations and how to best allocate the most precious resource we all have – time.

I don’t know. I hope so. Meanwhile, St. James’ folks – here is my promise to you. For the remainder of my time with you, dedicated prayer time, work on sermons and Bible studies and Inquirer’s classes will not be last on my agenda, they will be first (along with pastoral care and the like). You deserve that from me. And I know and understand the current expectations regarding the administrative tasks and they will not be neglected. Most of all, from time to time you will be unable to reach me because I will be praying – in the chapel, in my office, on a walk. I believe I will be a better priest for it.