It’s all about the numbers. It’s been 15 days since I’ve seen my wife. Or I should say, been with her in the same space. Now days with Facetime and Facebook and the like, I can see her. I can hear her.
Folks, it ain’t the same.
In 10 days (another number) we will have been married 30 years (yet another).
10 days. 30 years. 30 years! How did THAT happen? I think I am 30, but I am 55. In 30 years of what is undoubtedly the best marriage in the history of the world (count those numbers in eons), we’ve never been apart this many days in a row.
Not one (a number) time.
General Convention is the closest but that’s less than 15 days and at the 1st two I served as deputy Jennifer joined me for some of it. Not last summer but that was still less than 15 days. And it will be another 8 before we are together.
This is not good.
I am 55. I have been married 30 years. And I really, really, really miss my wife.
Soon I will travel back to Jackson and we will finish packing and move our stuff to our new place, a condo we are renting in beautiful Delray Beach. St. Paul’s is great, this area is so nice and we are close to Jen’s sister and fairly close to her step mom. There is much work to do and adventures to have and all that is amazing and exciting and definitely blessing…..but
It’s been 15 days. 30 years. And 8 or more to go.
And I don’t like it. Not one bit.
Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy
Jen – soon and very soon. Until then, every minute I think of you and pray for you and miss you so much.
Taking my talents to south Beach….or near there…(and yes this is tongue-in-cheek)
One week. In one week I hit the road for beautiful Delray Beach, Florida where I begin my time as Interim Rector of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church.
The last few weeks have been wild. We accepted the call and then had to let some other folks know we would not continue to discern with them. That was really hard. Jen and I spent a week at the beach with Brayden, what a great time. It is very hard to know we won’t see him as often but he will always be part of our lives and we will see him as much as we can.
I will remain canonically resident in the Diocese of Mississippi, which makes me happy. My first week in Delray coincides with Clergy Conference in the Diocese of SE Florida, and it’s in Delray, so I look forward to meeting new clergy friends right off the bat. As President of the Standing Committee, I’ve been wrapping things up in that arena and especially dealing with the Bishop Search progress while preparing to hand all that off to the S.C. soon. On August 15th the clergy of the Diocese met to discuss our hopes and dreams for our next Bishop, and I was very glad to attend and say some goodbyes. I love this Diocese and feel so supported and loved by my fellow clergy. It’s a special place for sure. Missing THAT Clergy Conference is not something I want to talk about!
Last week Jen and I traveled to Delray and looked at lots of potential places to rent, but have not decided yet. It’s difficult. We thankfully have been offered a place to stay until mid-October, so we have a little time to make a decision. Pray for us!
We returned Wednesday night and then on Thursday went to our daughter, Mackenzie’s house that she and husband Wynne had bought a few months ago. Kenzie had asked me to bless the house before we left, so I dutifully printed off some house blessing handouts, and with stole in hand, we walked in her door only to find a surprise going away party with many of our long-time Jackson friends from the old neighborhood we lived in before leaving for seminary in 1999. It was a great surprise and really wonderful.
I spent yesterday at what will most likely be my final in-person Standing Committee meeting and tomorrow we go to Hattiesburg where my family (3 of my brothers and their families and my parents) will gather for another goodbye. This is HARD and exciting.
So the plan is for me to drive down on Friday so I can be at services over the weekend (the church has one on Saturday and four on Sunday). Jennifer will join me once we have a place to live and are ready to move our stuff, I will come back for the move of course.
Delray is lovely and the church is awesome. It’s a long way but we hope and expect lots of visitors! Your prayers are always welcome. And many of my St. James’ friends asked me to keep this blog up to date so expect more frequent posts over the next year or so. Speaking of St. James’ – I really miss all of you guys!
And Mississippi folks – I will be at Annual Council and have another gig (that I cannot announce yet) in January that is a real honor to participate in. More when I can say more!
Come on down to sunny South Florida! We would love to see you. Until then – Peace and God Bless.
David+
So…..now what?
Well it is finished. My time at St. James’ concluded Sunday, June 30. Although only being here 13 months, leaving was very hard. I love this place and these folks. They threw a wonderful party for us Thursday night and sweet reception on Sunday. With all that, including 4 services, that’s a lot of good bye hugs! The love displayed for us was amazing and I won’t forget it. It’s been a wonderful time.
I am in the “discernment” business. I often help people discern God’s call, what’s next for them, where are they being led. I am involved in various discernment groups and really enjoy that quite difficult and challenging and oh-so-rewarding work. The problem is, I am really bad at it for myself and my own family. So here we are. It is very hard to believe I have been here now 13 months. It has been a truly amazing and rewarding experience. I love this place and the people, I have been blessed to work with an incredible staff of lay and clergy superstars, and I get to hang out with some fascinating and inspiring folks. As Interim, I’ve tried my best to be the best I can be in that capacity and I know I have stumbled in that role at times. But I’ve had a blast and what an honor to have my oldest daughter’s wedding right here in this special place. It’s been that kind of year. The last 13 months my son graduated high school and started college, both daughters got married, we moved from the coast and moved THREE times in Jackson, ending up in our very cool downtown apartment. Jennifer started two new jobs and has found such joy working with children at Blair Batson. We knew it was a perfect “season” in our lives to be in Jackson and that has proven to be true. But that part of our journey has now ended.
It’s so much easier to give people, other people, sage advice isn’t it? Just Let Go and Let God! Trust in The Lord. Do not be anxious. God will open a door. All true, all worthy, all very very hard. At least for me, I confess.
It’s different this time around, as we don’t have to worry about such things as school districts. But other family considerations creep that were not present in the past. We have options. We have preferences. But we have VERY little control over how it all shakes out. As it should be, I suppose.
Discerning with parishes who are in search processes is about finding the right fit. These are not competitions with winners and losers. It’s a parish doing its best to discover and affirm, it’s a clergy person doing EXACTLY the same. The common phrase is “finding the right fit”, but how? A very wise clergy friend of mine once said “it takes about a year after a call is issued to find out who lied the most, the search committee or the Priest”. Blunt and true – we all put our best foot forward, right? Yet that allusive “fit” beckons both church and Priest so we search and pray and talk and pray and visit and pray and ask and answer and pray.
My prayer time this time around abounds with silence. I am trying my best to listen. Will you listen with me? Will you pray and dream, vision and wonder with the Knights? For some reason I feel the answer to all this may be surprising, but I can honestly say at this point I have absolutely no idea where we will end up. Earlier today someone said that would drive them crazy, to which all I could reply was “yep”.
So I go back and try, let go, let God, trust, listen. It’s all against my nature and it’s all vitally important.
Just writing this helps with the anxiety. Come Holy Spirit!
SO….here we go again. Pray with us?
It’s Camp…one last time
Well another fabulous week at Camp Bratton-Green is wrapping up. It’s been very special with my daughter, Chelsea, as my co-director. We’ve had a blast! Of course my LW is my camp nurse, our special buddy Brayden is a staff brat. Really, really missed having son Joseph on staff (he is in summer school) and daughter Mackenzie (just started a new job). Camp for us is usually a family affair and they were definitely missed.
With my next job outside of the Diocese of MS (no, I don’t have one yet, just know it will be out of state), this is my last year as a camp director. It’s truly one of my most favorite things I get the honor of doing every year. Hopefully I can still come back to CBG in some capacity over the years. It’s such a special place.
What makes it special, for me, is the staff. I have 22 volunteer counselors, from 10th grade to college age. 8 adult cabin parents. And a very talented permanent staff. Every year they amaze me and challenge me and teach me and inspire me.
Camp is instant community with all that entails. 110 kids plus staff come together, many not knowing each other. Cabins figure it out, some better than others. We have the usual assortment of kids trying to figure out their place, those who are ultra comfortable here, those who miss home (at first) and then don’t want to leave. It’s a microcosm of life and it’s beautiful and fun and a struggle and a joy.
It’s camp. We get messy (I got thrown in the mud pit yesterday where the kids piled on and then dunked with ice and water twice at lunch, for starters), we play some great games, the permies run fantastic activity periods in the lake, the pool, arts and crafts, rope course, music and nature. It’s God and creation, it’s hot and tiring, it’s ghost stories and singing, it’s prayer and it’s camp.
It’s camp. And I will miss it.
And so comes the Triduum….
I am so proud of the St. James’ folks who have been turning out in high numbers for the first part of Holy Week. Tonight, of course, begins the Triduum – Maundy Thursday / Good Friday / The Great Vigil of Easter. One continuous liturgy that places us in the heart of the story – there are all the elements – feet washed by God, new commandments that are simple yet so hard even now (just love, y’all), betrayal in the garden, solemnly the altar stripped bare we leave in stunned silence. The stark contrast of the church on Good Friday, no flowers, no pretty vestments, no organ music, just us and prayer and God on a cross. We must hold back the urge to scamper too quickly past the brutality, the denials, the fear, the sweat-like-blood, the anguish and pain. Don’t hide your eyes, look straight on, come and hear and say and feel. Leave in that strange silence, how awkward and different and powerful to walk quietly to our cars and exit, not dismissed, no “Thanks be to God”, it’s not yet over, for the tomb is not yet empty.
Come to the wonder of the Great Vigil, candlelight, baptisms, salvation history by story tellers, we all wait in the darkness, anticipating – we know the story but yet we come to live it out again, waiting for that blaze of light, new fire, singing, bell ringing moment when Alleluia rings out and we offer up to God our grateful hearts, changed again by remembering and gathering and sharing and proclaiming. This IS the night!
As I said in my sermon a couple of weeks ago – go for it! Carve out the time. Make it your priority. Teach your friends and your family members something this Holy Week, that we can make room for it all, for the story, for the grace. We can put our lives on hold – or more accurately we can envelope our lives within this story so that we become the gospel for others.
It is a real privilege to walk this path with the people of St. James’. If you are in the Jackson area and need a place to come and live into our Lord’s journey, we would love to have you. Come as you are, just show up and let the story wash over you, change you, inspire you, remind you. For this is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes!
See you in church!