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So…..now what?

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Well it is finished. My time at St. James’ concluded Sunday, June 30. Although only being here 13 months, leaving was very hard. I love this place and these folks. They threw a wonderful party for us Thursday night and sweet reception on Sunday. With all that, including 4 services, that’s a lot of good bye hugs! The love displayed for us was amazing and I won’t forget it. It’s been a wonderful time.
I am in the “discernment” business. I often help people discern God’s call, what’s next for them, where are they being led. I am involved in various discernment groups and really enjoy that quite difficult and challenging and oh-so-rewarding work. The problem is, I am really bad at it for myself and my own family. So here we are. It is very hard to believe I have been here now 13 months. It has been a truly amazing and rewarding experience. I love this place and the people, I have been blessed to work with an incredible staff of lay and clergy superstars, and I get to hang out with some fascinating and inspiring folks. As Interim, I’ve tried my best to be the best I can be in that capacity and I know I have stumbled in that role at times. But I’ve had a blast and what an honor to have my oldest daughter’s wedding right here in this special place. It’s been that kind of year. The last 13 months my son graduated high school and started college, both daughters got married, we moved from the coast and moved THREE times in Jackson, ending up in our very cool downtown apartment. Jennifer started two new jobs and has found such joy working with children at Blair Batson. We knew it was a perfect “season” in our lives to be in Jackson and that has proven to be true. But that part of our journey has now ended.
It’s so much easier to give people, other people, sage advice isn’t it? Just Let Go and Let God! Trust in The Lord. Do not be anxious. God will open a door. All true, all worthy, all very very hard. At least for me, I confess.
It’s different this time around, as we don’t have to worry about such things as school districts. But other family considerations creep that were not present in the past. We have options. We have preferences. But we have VERY little control over how it all shakes out. As it should be, I suppose.

Discerning with parishes who are in search processes is about finding the right fit. These are not competitions with winners and losers. It’s a parish doing its best to discover and affirm, it’s a clergy person doing EXACTLY the same. The common phrase is “finding the right fit”, but how? A very wise clergy friend of mine once said “it takes about a year after a call is issued to find out who lied the most, the search committee or the Priest”. Blunt and true – we all put our best foot forward, right? Yet that allusive “fit” beckons both church and Priest so we search and pray and talk and pray and visit and pray and ask and answer and pray.
My prayer time this time around abounds with silence. I am trying my best to listen. Will you listen with me? Will you pray and dream, vision and wonder with the Knights? For some reason I feel the answer to all this may be surprising, but I can honestly say at this point I have absolutely no idea where we will end up. Earlier today someone said that would drive them crazy, to which all I could reply was “yep”.
So I go back and try, let go, let God, trust, listen. It’s all against my nature and it’s all vitally important.
Just writing this helps with the anxiety. Come Holy Spirit!
SO….here we go again. Pray with us?

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And so comes the Triduum….

I am so proud of the St. James’ folks who have been turning out in high numbers for the first part of Holy Week. Tonight, of course, begins the Triduum – Maundy Thursday / Good Friday / The Great Vigil of Easter. One continuous liturgy that places us in the heart of the story – there are all the elements – feet washed by God, new commandments that are simple yet so hard even now (just love, y’all), betrayal in the garden, solemnly the altar stripped bare we leave in stunned silence. The stark contrast of the church on Good Friday, no flowers, no pretty vestments, no organ music, just us and prayer and God on a cross. We must hold back the urge to scamper too quickly past the brutality, the denials, the fear, the sweat-like-blood, the anguish and pain. Don’t hide your eyes, look straight on, come and hear and say and feel. Leave in that strange silence, how awkward and different and powerful to walk quietly to our cars and exit, not dismissed, no “Thanks be to God”, it’s not yet over, for the tomb is not yet empty.

Come to the wonder of the Great Vigil, candlelight, baptisms, salvation history by story tellers, we all wait in the darkness, anticipating – we know the story but yet we come to live it out again, waiting for that blaze of light, new fire, singing, bell ringing moment when Alleluia rings out and we offer up to God our grateful hearts, changed again by remembering and gathering and sharing and proclaiming. This IS the night!

As I said in my sermon a couple of weeks ago – go for it! Carve out the time. Make it your priority. Teach your friends and your family members something this Holy Week, that we can make room for it all, for the story, for the grace. We can put our lives on hold – or more accurately we can envelope our lives within this story so that we become the gospel for others.

It is a real privilege to walk this path with the people of St. James’. If you are in the Jackson area and need a place to come and live into our Lord’s journey, we would love to have you. Come as you are, just show up and let the story wash over you, change you, inspire you, remind you. For this is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes!

See you in church!