Tag Archives: St. Paul’s

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Gnashing of Teeth

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This Sunday Bishop Frade will be at St. Paul’s for Confirmations. I was so relieved to know this as I read the Scripture lessons for Sunday because he will have to struggle with the parable of the talents and the Master’s tough words for the one slave who simply buried his talent so that the harsh, cruel master wouldn’t be upset if he lost it (Matthew 25:14-30).

So there I was, giving thanks for dodging that bullet, when I was reminded I DO have to preach at our Saturday night service, DUH.

Sigh.

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I have, naturally, been thinking a lot lately about discernment and calling. Which makes sense in light of my current situation with this interim time winding down and the need to find what’s next, but also in the excitement and pride in my wife’s less-than-a-month-from-now graduation with her Pediatric Nurse Practioner masters degree.

All this has reminded me of the parable of the talents and of when I was the fearful one.

The fearful one. For so long I would not even entertain for a minute the idea of ordained ministry. It was too risky to consider. I was nowhere near good enough or smart enough and certainly not talented (pun intended) enough at important aspects of the ministry like, gasp, public speaking. After all I had a family to raise and support, three young children, I was moving up in my excellent job, no need to rock that boat. I had a litany of really good reasons to stay the course, to bury my “talent” so I wouldn’t lose it.

Then I was reminded of a real life example of listening to God and following the call God places on your heart, the calling St. Paul in Romans says is “irrevocable”.

In 1990 my beloved met me at the door when I came home from work with this simple, world changing statement: “I have decided to go to nursing school”. In other words she was saying, “I am investing my talent, not hiding it.”

Now if there was ever someone called (and gifted) by God to be a nurse, it’s my wife, Jennifer. She is a natural. And she also owned the fact she was terrified of one thing – school. Academics. She had accepted the lie that she couldn’t do well in school. Yet even with that very real, if irrational, fear, and with our two children (Joseph wasn’t around yet) only 5 and 3 years old, she took the risk, she stepped out on the high wire and didn’t look down, she answered the call she had felt for a long time.

And now, after a long journey and  good grades in some tough courses, after 20 years of being an amazing nurse, she is on the verge of her PNP degree.

I can say with no hesitation that without Jennifer’s very present and powerful example I never would have had the courage myself to take a risk and do the same – to dare to listen to God and the people God had put in my life to encourage me to step out in faith myself, to ignore my own self doubts as well as the wisdom of those who thought I had lost my mind.

Discernment is hard and holy work. Listening for a call is one of life’s real challenges. How do we determine it is God’s call, not our own ego? Am I really willing to step out into a big, challenging, scary, thrilling unknown….or do I bury what I have been given – GIVEN – and hope my master will be so pleased in me, pleased I took the safe route?

The gospel for Sunday says the master cast that one into the outer darkness, the one unwilling to risk is sent away, teeth gnashing to follow. My wife refused to bury her talent, not knowing at all where the road would take her. I am continuously amazed at how she not only faces her fears, she crushes them.

And because she has done so, the world has gained an amazing nurse and a soon to be incredible PNP and many lives are better because she answered her calling in the way she did. How many people can say that?

Jesus put these words into the master’s voice, “you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things, enter into the joy of your master.”

Enter into the joy.

Thanks Jen, for the living, breathing, walking, talking, high wire spanning reminder. I needed it so much.

 

So there it is,  the tightrope – swaying in the breeze. I can see it. It seems so high up. It makes my heart beat faster. Yet, I’ve been here before. Perhaps I don’t need this shovel after all…….

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Your prayers are welcomed.

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Laborers

I had a wonderful experience today meeting with a group of partners who are doing amazing work in Haiti, mainly in the community of Bondeau where St. Paul’s Delray and others (St. Gregory’s in Boca and several other churches in this diocese) have been working for several years. We heard from medical mission leaders;  those involved in building a new church there; Deacon Anita who lives there with over a dozen girls, making a difference in their lives and in the community; and folks involved in bringing clean water (Hallelujah) and solar power to this area in such need.

There are ongoing challenges, some of them are extreme. It’s hard work. It’s the long haul. And in it is blessing. Profound blessing.

We shared Eucharist and I used the propers for the mission of the church: Luke 10 – the harvest is plentiful, the laborers are full. It’s a gospel we often hear at ordinations. But we must remember the laborers are not just those who wear these funny collars. I saw today a great group of laborers, who represent even a larger group. I was reflecting on the work – how we can feel overwhelmed not just when faced with the challenges in this small part of Haiti, but when we also think about all the problems around this world of ours. It seems too much, too hard, way too hard.

Yet Jesus sent the 70 to go to towns and then to houses and when they were welcome, to hang out there a while and bring a bit of the kingdom near. That’s what we can do in Bondeau. That’s what you can do in whatever mission field, across the world or across the street, God has led you to. Bring the peace of Christ. Share the love of God. Bring the kingdom near. And as was evident today, when you do so, you see that same kingdom near to you. For we are most blessed when we bless others.

Do not despair. Be the laborer but remember you were not called to fix every problem in every part of the world. But you can make a difference in whatever “house” Jesus has sent you to.

I was reminded today of the power of God and of prayer. When I think about all my own problems, which at times seem too much, I can remember today and the words of deep faith and trust in the movement of the Holy Spirit, who is indeed moving amongst these Haiti partners, and amongst St. Paul’s, and even with little ole me.

Let’s be laborers. And rejoice – the kingdom has come near.

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Taking my talents to south Beach….or near there…(and yes this is tongue-in-cheek)

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One week. In one week I hit the road for beautiful Delray Beach, Florida where I begin my time as Interim Rector of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church.

The last few weeks have been wild. We accepted the call and then had to let some other folks know we would not continue to discern with them. That was really hard. Jen and I spent a week at the beach with Brayden, what a great time. It is very hard to know we won’t see him as often but he will always be part of our lives and we will see him as much as we can.

I will remain canonically resident in the Diocese of Mississippi, which makes me happy. My first week in Delray coincides with Clergy Conference in the Diocese of SE Florida, and it’s in Delray, so I look forward to meeting new clergy friends right off the bat. As President of the Standing Committee, I’ve been wrapping things up in that arena and especially dealing with the Bishop Search progress while preparing to hand all that off to the S.C. soon. On August 15th the clergy of the Diocese met to discuss our hopes and dreams for our next Bishop, and I was very glad to attend and say some goodbyes. I love this Diocese and feel so supported and loved by my fellow clergy. It’s a special place for sure. Missing THAT Clergy Conference is not something I want to talk about!

Last week Jen and I traveled to Delray and looked at lots of potential places to rent, but have not decided yet. It’s difficult. We thankfully have been offered a place to stay until mid-October, so we have a little time to make a decision. Pray for us!

We returned Wednesday night and then on Thursday went to our daughter, Mackenzie’s house that she and husband Wynne had bought a few months ago. Kenzie had asked me to bless the house before we left, so I dutifully printed off some house blessing handouts, and with stole in hand, we walked in her door only to find a surprise going away party with many of our long-time Jackson friends from the old neighborhood we lived in before leaving for seminary in 1999. It was a great surprise and really wonderful.

I spent yesterday at what will most likely be my final in-person Standing Committee meeting and tomorrow we go to Hattiesburg where my family (3 of my brothers and their families and my parents) will gather for another goodbye. This is HARD and exciting.

So the plan is for me to drive down on Friday so I can be at services over the weekend (the church has one on Saturday and four on Sunday). Jennifer will join me once we have a place to live and are ready to move our stuff, I will come back for the move of course.

Delray is lovely and the church is awesome. It’s a long way but we hope and expect lots of visitors! Your prayers are always welcome. And many of my St. James’ friends asked me to keep this blog up to date so expect more frequent posts over the next year or so. Speaking of St. James’ – I really miss all of you guys!

And Mississippi folks – I will be at Annual Council and have another gig (that I cannot announce yet) in January that is a real honor to participate in. More when I can say more!

Come on down to sunny South Florida! We would love to see you. Until then – Peace and God Bless.

David+